Here is Part 1 if you missed it.
Matthew - ready for the Prom
The Process
One of Matthew’s Special Olympics Coaches is an attorney specializing in serving the Special Needs Community. I scheduled an appointment for a consultation with her about a year before Matthew turned 18. We talked about the different types of conservatorship (estate and person) and Matthew’s abilities and we decided to do a conservatorship of the person. Matthew’s Father, Step-Mother and I did not feel that Matthew was capable of making legal or medical decisions for himself. We did not do an estate conservatorship because Matthew does not have assets that need to be protected. He does however, have epilepsy and taking his medication is vitally important to keeping them under control and keeping him safe.
I also tried to imagine legal scenarios that might arise where Matthew could be taken advantage of. Matthew is a very friendly and likable person. I could see someone luring him to sign an apartment lease and then not paying their rent. Matthew is such a nice guy he would not only do it, he might not see it as a problem at all and not ask for help.
Our case is a little unusual. Typically someone is conserved by only one person. Matthew however has a Mom, a Dad and a Step-Mom and we parent together. There was just no question that we would all conserve him together.
About 3 months before Matthew turned 18 we started the paperwork process. We all filled out questionnaires about our legal and financial situations and Laura and Jean, her wonderful paralegal turned them into the proper paperwork.
Once the hearing date was set then Matthew was served. This was a bit intimidating because the process server comes to deliver the papers to the person being conserved and if Matthew hadn’t been prepared then it could have been really scary.
I just told Matthew that now that he was turning 18 and becoming an adult that Steve, Pam and I just wanted to make sure that if he ever needs our help then we are able to help him. Like getting an apartment or understanding medical stuff when we go see his Neurologist.
The next step was the meeting with the court investigator. I spoke with him at length on the phone and he explained the process. I relayed it to Matthew and explained that he was going to meet with the investigator who would ask him some questions and just make sure that Matthew understood everything and answer any questions. I also told Matthew that he could talk with the investigator with me in the room or he could speak with him in private without me but that I would be there if he needed me.
When investigator showed up Matthew decided he wanted me there. I tried to keep my mouth shut and just let the investigator size up the situation but there were times when I had to clarify things for Matthew because he didn’t understand the questions. The investigator also spoke with Steve and Pam as well as Elisabeth, Matthew’s sister.
Then we had a court and the judge had to tell Matthew that we were doing this because we felt the Matthew couldn’t handle his affairs on his own. The terminology used was clearly beyond Matthew and I think he mostly tuned it out. Matthew looks like a typical 18 year old and until you’ve spoken to him for awhile you might not realize that he is not a normal 18 year old. I think the judge was really wondering why we wanted to conserve him and why the investigator approved it until the very end. He asked Matthew if he was OK with this and Matthew saluted him and said Yes, sir, your honor. The judge was looking at Matthew over his half-glasses perched on his nose and at this he grinned and said, “Petition approved.”
I don’t want to run Matthew’s life and he is certainly capable of deciding a lot of things. But left on his own he is vulnerable. We will certainly encourage Matthew to make his own decisions about where to live and with whom and where to work but if he needs us, now we can step in before there is a problem rather than trying to undo a mess after the fact.
I would hope that if the roles were reversed he would do the same for me.
You can do this on your own, you don’t need an attorney. It cost us about $2000 but I think it was money well spent (easy for me to say, Matthew’s Dad paid for it) but I think the process went much smoother and we were taken more seriously by both the investigator and the judge. They knew that Laura would not have taken it this far if she didn’t think it was the right thing to do and that lent our petition a lot of credibility.
If there is any question in your mind I highly recommend that you consider conserving your child as soon as they turn 18. It doesn’t mean they will live with you for the rest of their lives or you will have run around after them as if they were 2. It does mean that if they need you, you will legally be able to help them.
It’s Peace of Mind and as the commercial says – Priceless!
Santa Barbara County Courts Probate/Conservator information
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