On A Personal Note | Our Special Families Village

I Think You Should – or Not.

Note: This came up in my work with An IEP for Me! and I thought I’d share it with you. As Special Needs Families we often face similar situations. Let me know what you think in the comments.

What you can do with Unsolicited Advice

I have a really big goal in my life. I have shared it with some people but recently I’ve been hearing a lot of, “I think you should…” responses.

Now here’s the thing…

No one knows me the way I know me.

They don’t see the world through the same lens that do
They don’t know what I’ve done to explore this goal
They don’t know the research I’ve done
They don’t know my likes and dislikes
The don’t know what I hope to accomplish with this goal

They only know little pieces of a few pieces of the puzzle.

Now I’m not saying that their advice is unwarranted but it’s not the only option. What they hope I would accomplish by following this advice is clearly something I need to explore, but I have chosen not to explore it the way they are telling me they think I should for several reasons, none of which matter.

The ultimate response though, is that I want to accomplish something and I’m choosing a different path to get there. It’s not a right or wrong path rather it’s the right path for me.

So if I were to listen to them when they say, “I think you should…” I would just abandon my goal because what they’re suggesting is something that I feel is really not possible in my life right now and I feel it’s not something I want to do. But I understand what following their advice would accomplish. If I were to do what they’re suggesting I understand what I would learn but there are other ways to do it.

Truth or Consequences

Often when we hear someone say, “I think you should…” we allow ourselves to be led down a path that is not authentic. It doesn’t serve us personally. Or we say to ourselves, “I can’t do that” and we abandon the goal and our dream.

Maybe what our well-meaning family and friends suggest is a good idea for us or maybe there is a better way that suits our needs and wants in a more authentic way.

I believe that when someone says, “I think you should…”, we can hear what they have to say, think about how their advice may or may not serve us and then choose what we believe will work best for ourselves.

I think you should.

What do you think?

Filed Under: On A Personal Note Tagged With: Special Needs Support

Matthew and the 2012 Special Olympics Area Games

By Sandra 6 Comments

Matthew started Special Olympics back in 2002 and it has been such a wonderful experience for him and our entire family. Matthew has made friends, learned a lot, and had even more fun! I’ve made a lot of friends too, had a great time coaching and had even more fun!

Wondering if it’s right for your Special Needs Loved One? Check this out:

Filed Under: On A Personal Note, Village News Tagged With: Special Needs Support, Special Olympics

What’s Wrong with Using the R-Word?

By Sandra 3 Comments

I’ve been an avid follower and proponent of the Spread the Word to End the Word campaign to end the use of the word “retard.”

But I’ve been thinking lately that maybe we’re on the wrong track here. Maybe campaigning to end the use of the R-Word is nothing more than putting a Band-Aid on a cancer.

We used to describe people with mental illnesses as being crazy. And then suddenly the term “crazy” became a derogatory one.

At one time the term mentally retarded was nothing more than a medical term like ALS or Multiple Sclerosis. Now we’re being told that we need to use terms like “intellectually disabled” or “cognitively impaired.” There’s even a lot of confusion and disagreement about which of those terms is the best.

But here’s the truth…

The term isn’t the problem.

The problem is the way our society views those who are different. For example, if you’re a geek in a school were jocks are cool, or perhaps a jock in a school where geeks are cool, then you are seen as being different in a bad way.

I think the important thing to keep in mind here is that everyone is different and that’s what makes our world so wonder-ful.

And that’s the word we should be spreading.

Eventually we will let eliminate the use of the R-Word but what word will we need to eliminate next?

Blond?